Finding Your Voice

I'm already twenty-something and I still feel that I'm still trying to get to know myself.  And the more I get older, the more pressured I am to get to know me.  Yeah, I do have a lot of interests.  True.  But which of these should I follow?  Each interest has a track of its own.  Now as someone who has a lot of interests each pointing on different paths, it's quite a bit hard to choose.  Obviously you wouldn't be making a career of each.  You only get to choose one direction in which these paths are leading to.  At times, passions don't even have to go in the same direction.  It' ok. 

For most of us, we're still trying to make sense of everything.  And in most times, we get easily overwhelmed with a lot of options and opportunities that are laid in front of us.  Blessed are those people who know themselves well or who know what they want to be.  This brings me back to my childhood days.  I was asked by my teacher what I would like to be when I grow up.  I told her pediatrician, because I like kids, and I want to help.  Simple as that.  But somehow, along that path of my adulthood, something changed.  I no longer like to be a doctor.  I even announced to my family over lunch that I don't wish to be amongst the sick day in and day out.  Being an emotional person, I know that I could easily be affected by people.  And being careless, I know I could get infected too.  Now here I am 20 years after.  A nurse by profession, but is  not professional.  So what now. Like most people my age, I feel stuck, actually for a long time now, roughly 2 years.  

I think what made it difficult to figure out what to do is due to the state that I am in.  I am anxious.  I'm so impatient to know my direction that I end up not knowing.  But I believe that I have the answer in me.  It's just that my anxiety was like dark clouds in my mind.  I've listened to the speech of Steve Jobs and he said that I should be foolish.  That I should go try a lot of things and never ever settle unless I found what I wanted.  I think  huge part of me is just hesitant to make that big mistake again.  You see, I have 2 courses, 1 is biology and the 2nd is nursing.  None of which I have used as my career.  And so I vowed, next move will be for good. 

From Thandie Newton's speech, I learned that I should be on free fall.  Just stop thinking and just let it all go, because we will all gravitate to our destiny.  To our passions.  To our purpose.  That made a lot of sense to me. 

You know what, I figured both life lessons shared by these 2 people I mentioned have 1 common denominator and that is to just do what your heart tells you to do and not to think too much.  And I think I'll just start with that.