The photoshoot was a success! The whole trip was fantastic! We had a lot of firsts! It was the first time we saw dolphins swimming in the wild, first time I saw an initiation of a fraternity, first time for skinny dipping (day and night), first time sitting alongside a boat, first time that I model for a photoshoot.

It was really beyond terrific!

It's weird how something strange to me could be something relevant.  Ok, I'm not sure if it's that relevant but Buddha keeps on popping into my life.  

Mother used to call me that name when I was a baby because I used to be stout and bald.  She started calling me that when our maid had me sit on a box, and mama saw some resemblance of me and Buddha.  Actually even now she calls me that, not that I look like one, but she just like teasing me.  Weird thing here is that she calls me that whenever she comes in my room early in the morning when I'm still sound asleep.  She calls me "buddha" and "gwapa", the latter meant beautiful in tagalog. I know I'm unconscious but I can hear her every morning, because she perms her hair in my room.  Funny thing is, she even talks to me like I'm wide awake, reminding me of the things I needed to do for the day.  What's even more funny is that I could still remember what she had told me, even when I'm sleeping in bed the whole time.  Ok, so we're straying away from the topic, it's buddha. 

Going back, my ex is fascinated with Buddhism too.  Even though he's Hindu and he belongs to a very religous family, he gravitates somehow to Buddha.  Something in him that makes my ex feel relaxed and peaceful.  I think that's something he needs in his life, because his life is ubber hectic.  There was once that we discussed about the religion.  He knew little of it, but no matter how few he knows about the philosophies of religion, somehow I know that he holds those dear in his heart. 

My Japanese students, at times, talks to me about Buddhism.  I asked them a lot of questions but somehow I get only few information from them because they have trouble expressing themselves in English.  

This curiosity would definitely have me read about Buddhism, and probably study it.  I'm pretty open-minded so it would be nice to learn different perspectives about life, love, soul, spirit and destiny.

I could be Buddhist in the future.  I'm open like that.  Let's see though...

Hmmm... ok.  So the thing that I have been wanting to do for months, I will finally do tomorrow.  I don't know, the urge of doing it is more of having to finally get over it.  I know. It's bad.  But I really hope we get good shots tomorrow.  I already have tried out the outfits for tomorrow and even put make up on.  Everything seems to look good except for my face.  If it would've been tried on a real model then even a simple dress would be worthy of a cover page of a fashion magazine.  But since I'm going to be the model, I would have to use a lot of accessories, and make up too,  the heck bring in the fake lashes and contacts.  I need all that to make me worthy of a cover shot.  But I'm afraid that even after all that, it would still be a flunk.  I did try to do a mock shot.  Uhmmm... I looked stupid.  

Ok, let's be positive here.  There are ways and we could get a lot of shots. It will be fun and it will be great! 

Here are the pics that I'm going for:

If you may be so curious, the fashion shoot would be for my online boutique Boho Chic.  I'm planning to take a picture of me for the welcome page. So, let's cross our fingers and hope that it will turn out great. 

I missed it.  I missed that feeling of being in love.  Weird thing is, I haven't really felt that in my relationships.  Only with the unrequited ones.  Ouch!  I so sound like a looser now.  But ye, it's true.  My relationships so far have been long distance, and I must admit that it's hard for me to be in love in that situation.  I guess I almost felt that in my last relationship, but things went sour even before it got really good. 

Anyways, I was inspired to post because even after coming out from a break up, I was still in love with the idea of love.   That means I haven't really given up on love yet.  I know in time, I will experience it again.  It may not be with that perfect guy, but hopefully it would be with the right one.  Time after time, when I have an opportunity to ask people about relationships, it's either they have their own problems or they are doing ok with theirs.  Everyone has their own story.  I wish to start my own.  I know right now, I just got out from another chapter of failed relationship.  It was ok, we both learned.  We learned that we aren't for each other, and even after all the things we said against each other we still managed to friends.  Right now, we're still a bit upset with each other. I guess, it's just the right thing. To separate.

Even when I was 8 years old, I day dream of falling in love with someone.  Strange, because I felt that feeling even when I haven't even been in a relationship before nor I have anyone in mind to be in love with.  I felt so much love in me that I have to let go and share it with someone.  After almost a couple of decades, I still feel like I'm that kid, writing love songs on my notebook, hoping someday I would dedicate it to "him".

Disclaimer: The pics in this post aren't mine.

I watched "When Harry tries to Marry" the other night.  I chose it even when I don't really know much about the it.  All I know is that there's some guy named Harry who wanted to marry someone, and coming from a break up, I was eager to watch something romantic, so that after watching it I could cry once more.  Yes, I torture myself.

Funny enough, this movie was actually an Indian movie. What a coincidence, my ex was Indian. Hmmm.. so I said, is there something that the universe is trying to tell me here?  What the heck, I watched the movie and there was this part wherein Harry invited his girl to this traditional activity in which people were throwing colored powder to each other.  And I'm like, my gosh! That looks so fun! I sure would want to try that as well.  After the movie, I immediately asked Mr. Google as to what the festival is called.  It was actually named holi, a celebration of colors, which was done to eliminate bad auras in people by spreading fun.  And I'm all for fun!

I would have loved for my ex to come with me.  I would've dumped a lot of powder on him and probably poke him in the eyes after.

Yeah, that would be fun! :)

Disclaimer: the pics in this post are not mine.

For some reason, I crave for something sweet when I get frustrated with my "lovelife".  And that too, is same for my friend.  So we message each other and plan to meet up in an ice cream parlor, and gobble down a huge cup of ice cream while talking about our source of frustrations: guys.  They just don't get it.  They don't know how to take care of their girls.  For the luckier ladies who were blessed with very understanding and thoughtful guy,  don't let go of them.  And as for us who are part of the majority who have to put up with our men, we shall wallow our sorrows on coffee, ice cream and cakes.  

Guys.  Some are really clueless.  We have to teach them how to treat us better.   Girls should be treated like princesses. I guess that's the whole part of the paradigm of love that we girls are clinging on.  I've read in Steve Covey's book "7 Habits of effective people", he said that we should be that person who understands, and in order to be that person, we should change ourself from inside out.  And I think, hmmm ok, so if you understand everything about your guy then does it mean that any guy would be fine for you because whatever that guy's flaws are you could understand. Thing is, he should also try to give us what we need emotionally.  We would want to feel loved, and the only way for us to feel that is through his actions.  No matter how run down that saying is, it's true.  Actions do speak louder.  Forget the words, focus on the actions.  

As a filipina, we want to be treated like a princess.  I guess any woman in the world would want to be treated as one.  I guess moreso in our culture wherein guys, before they could ask our hand in marriage they would have to serve the girl's family, chopping woods and doing house chores.  They would even sing songs outside of the girl's window.  The paradigm that guys should treat girls very well is deeply rooted in a filipina's mind.  Ok I know this doesn't apply much in the recent world.  And I know those traditions we had before was just so 1970's. I understand that.  But I also understand that girls at some point are insecure and we want to get assurance from guys that they love us.  And that's constant assurance, that's just the way we are.

And as long as my guy don't understand that.  My friend and I would be meeting again at some place where we could satisfy our cravings for sweets and pour out our frustrations for our guys.